--- tags: books date: 2022-07-28 status: --- #books # Title: Carl Rogers: On Becoming a Person: A Therapists's View of Psycotherapy --- ## Relationships > I can state the overall hypothesis in one sentence, as follows. > > If I can provide a certain type of relationship, the other person will discover within himself the capacity to use that relationship for growth, and change and personal development will occur. It seems that relationships are critical for the development of the *self*. Wihtout them one is stuck in perpetual thought. > It is possible to explain a person to himself, to perscribe steps which should lead him forward, to train him in knowledge about a more satisfying mode of life. But such methods are, in my experience, futile and inconsequential. The most they can acomplish is some temporary change, which soon disappears, leaving the individual more than ever convinced of his inadequacy... The failure of any such approach through the intellect has forced me to recognize that change appears to come about through experience in relationship. So why is a relationship needed for the growth of self? I'm not exactly sure. It could be that the self is limited by *unconsious phenomena* and as a result it is not feasible for one to access those limitations through individual endavour. This means one must go out into the world and interact with others. The hypothesis is that there is an internal *tendancy* for growth, self-actualization, a forward-moving directional tendency, it is the mainspring of life, and is, in the last analysis, the tendency upon which all psychotherapy depends. The goal is thus to bring about this internal tendancy through the relationship. By firstly, accepting the other person. > By acceptance I mean a warm regard for him as a person of *unconditional self-worth* -- of value no matter his condition, his behavior, or his feelings. The problem, however is that, this tendancy can be locked away due to circumstances of life: > This tendency may become deeply buried under layer after layer of encrusted psycological defenses; it may be hidden behind elaborate facades which deny its existence ; but is my belief that it exists in every individual, and awaits only the proper conditions to be released and expressed. Once accepted, the person will be able to *recognise* this tendancy not only within his consious mind but also in the deeper levels of his personality. Relationships are really critical for the development of the *self*. Without them, the person fails to develop. Without the trust of the relationship, the person will not be able seep through contradictions that lead to problamatic behavior. > Abstractions Meta --- ### Author: Carl Rogers #### Rating: /5 #### Date: 2022-07-28 #### Related Books